My Reflection After Watching Something Borrowed

Watching the main cast Rachel reminded me of myself.  She is a 30 year old lawyer who is way past her birth bearing age and doesn't love her job.  She always gives in to what other think or say.  She likes a guy but didn't feel confident that she could have him so he gave him up.  She always let her best friend win and she has a cool guy friend.

I realized I'm exactly like her.  I'm not sure whether I really want to be a lawyer.  I'm probably wasting my youth just studying for it.  I never want to decide on my own.  When people ask me, I always say "ikaw bahala" (you decide)  I always think that if I could sacrifice fo others its better than regretting not giving or doing enough for them.  I'm actually comfortable in succumbing to what others want.  I never speak up.  I guess that's why I'm not confident enough to have any relationships.  I don't want to expect, wait or fight and be disappointed.  I hate those complexities.  Perhaps, I lost my chance when I walked out on one a long time ago and I could never have the chance back again.  In terms of friendship, I've always let my best friend win.  Although admittedly,  my guy friend may not be as cool as Ethan in the movie but he used to be way more cool.  He just totally forgot about it.  I miss that coolest best friend though.

Funny, it was like watching myself.  Hopefully, my life is not yet on a dead end too.  Maybe, I would someday have the chance to fight for what I really want too.  Although right now, I'm not sure yet.  All I know is that I want to have a meaningful life and I feel happy when I help others.  I believe that life is really short and meaningless and when I help others, I feel like I get to live on in their memories even when I am away.

It got me thinking though.  Isn't Dex the jerk?  But the movie was presented like Rachel did all the wrong moves.  If it was me, I would've chosen the cool Ethan.  Imagine what Rachel did for Dex and the movie ended with them just like that.

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